International

La Bicycletta June 2013

The sun.  A rare commodity in England these days – but much more prevalent in Spain.  I opened the door of my bungalow to be greeted by it shining in the sky above me, and sat down at my table under the pine trees.  A cup of tila in hand, a bowl of cereal and a ‘Buenos dias’ from my neighbour.  Perfecto.

Now for the bicycle.  This had been on my mind for a month or so before arriving.  Where to get one?  ‘There’s a shop called ‘Kandani” my friend said, ‘you could speak to them’ .  Someone else told me: ‘The hotel down the road near the beach always has loads of bikes outside it, you could go ask them if they’re for hire’.  I headed towards it.  On the way I saw a big white van with ‘Kandani’ written on the side.  There was no one in it.  I passed by and looked around for signs of bikeness.  Sure enough a few metres down I turned to the left and saw a man at the door of a villa holding two cycles talking to a couple of guys.  ‘Perdon’ I said.  ‘Are you ‘Kandani’ the bike man?’.  ‘Yes! I am coming!’ he shouted as he left his clients and walked towards me.

Vicente gave me a lift to the local town and we began to look at the options. After some deliberation, I thought best to sleep on it and decide whether or not to purchase in the morning.  Dani  – el jefe – offered me a lift back to my home and that was that.

Dinner the same evening was an international affair, two Italians, one American, a Croatian, a French lady, an Argentinian and me.  We dined on freshly dug potatoes, salad, garbanzos, and for dessert strawberries and a soupcon of pastry.  We sat in the cool evening air under the stars and as more and more sweaters were applied the party started to break up.

Lucia approached.  ‘I hear you’re looking for a bicycle’.  ‘Yes, I am!’ ‘Well I have one you’re welcome to borrow for the duration of your stay if you like?  It’s a good bike’.  I was over joyed and thanked her profusely.

The next morning I headed up to see my new loan:  She’s a beauty, a little neglected – just one gear, but tough and she has a good heart – I can tell.  A trip to  the bike shop followed, resulting in handlebar grips and a delicious new padded saddle.  The old locks removed and a new lock purchased later, off I went to the market.

I cycled in the sunshine with the wind in my face (a bit too much wind in my face actually) uphill and past red earth fields with gentle coloured flowers here and there, farmers tilling the land, a greenhouse full of waiting- to- ripen tomatoes, an outside market selling fresh vegetables and arrived at the turn off to my destination.

A long queue of traffic stretched before me comprising cars, buses and the odd white van.  No problemo.  I almost smiled;  I felt so smug.  I cycled up the side regardless, with thoughts of the cafe that awaited me, and my newly found sense of freedom to spur me on.

My kind of Blue

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Mayrofen:  The Magaluf of Ski resorts where you can be innocently walking down main street at ten in the evening and a stocious bloke with goggles on saying ‘I love boobies’, will walk up behind you and just head butt your ass.

It’s a heady combination – packs of hairy guys, feral instincts, buckets of Jagermeister and a hefty dollop of Austrian ‘cheese’ – which ultimately saves it from itself.

A combination of too much mountain sun and food poisoning resulted in a day off on Sunday with a trip to the Spa the main highlight – the naked unisex spa that is. Could I do it? I wondered.  I threw caution to the winds, and my towel, and proceeded to try out the various steam and sauna rooms.

By the third room I had made a new Liverpudlian ‘friend’. He told me he was a transformational massage therapist.  ‘How interesting’ I replied as he went on to extol the virtues of skiing: ‘It’s a metaphor for life’.

At dinner I was quizzed on the details and later, bidding each other goodnight, my cousin said: ‘Make sure you get your fat bottom up that mountain tomorrow – no excuses!’

The next day, I paused at the top of the nursery slope trying in vain to close the straps on my ski boots.  ‘Excuse me, can you help me please?’ I said to a large man with a handlebar moustache and a forest under his chin.  He wordlessly bent down to close the two problematic boot straps.  ‘Danke’ I said to an already vanishing back and a swish of his skis; after all with perfect snow conditions and a bright sunny sky there were peaks to be conquered and pistes to be off.

I noticed my cousin waving at me.  I skied down in true beginner style; mostly snowplough but with a bit of a turn here and there.  ‘I’m just going to do this today cuz’ I said.  ‘Well, okay, but why don’t you follow me down this Blue run before we all head off for the day?’ ‘No’ I said.  ‘C’mon, I’ll go really slowly’. ‘NO’ I shouted, in a bit of a panic this time. ‘Okay, well just do this bit with me then’ he replied.  I started to follow him down and as suspected he led me down the Blue anyway, but slowly, in the widest turns possible – zig zagging across.  With just him in my view I couldn’t see the bottom.  I felt safe.  I felt looked after, but more than anything I was touched by the care he took.

At breakfast the following day a Belgian restaurant owner told me he had to take it easy now that he was older on the slopes; if he broke anything he wouldn’t be able to work and he had a family to support.  I told my cousin:  ‘Well if you had that attitude you’d never do anything’.

On the penultimate day, getting braver, I attempted a new Blue.  Two falls later, and a bit shaken up, I headed to the bar for a Gluwein to celebrate my bravery and nurse my wounds.

‘You’ll go up again tomorrow  before you fly back, won’t you?’ said my cousin: ‘It’s important to leave with a good experience to remember’.

At the top of my favourite Blue early next morning, I looked down. It seemed a lot scarier today, but I knew I had to do it.  And I did.

Feel no pain

I approached the lunch table tentatively. ‘May I join you?’ I said on day one of my holiday.  ‘Of course’ a very jolly man replied as he filled up the wine glasses for everyone.  ‘We’re all anaesthetists here – attending a conference for a few days. What do you do?’   After some hesitation I said the first thing that came into my head: ‘Oh!  When I think of your profession, Michael Jackson instantly springs to mind’.  Without skipping a beat, June said ‘Well of course, he wouldn’t have died if he’d had a qualified anaesthetist administering the Profopol – in fact that’s the only person that should have been taking care of him.  It just wouldn’t have happened’.  I felt fresh anguish at the passing of Michael.

After a summer of frivolous enjoyment, here I was finally surrounded by a concentration of intelligent life with conversation that meant something – and couched in some of the wittiest humour I’d experienced in a while.  Club Med usually says sun, fun and Crazy Signs for me – but this time its very culture was heightened by a welcome influx of medical know how and underlying sharpness – sharp as a pin in fact, or perhaps in this instance – a needle. If someone had suddenly shouted ‘Is there a doctor in the house?’ Over a hundred pairs of hands would have been raised.

Good company was everywhere to be found and I made the most of it.  The conversation continued in the bar before dinner that night: ‘I’m a redhead’, I said, ‘I feel pain much more than others’.  ‘Oh we know’ Nick replied, ‘In fact you bleed a lot more too…. and whenever we get a redhead in they usually vomit before they go under, during, and then after the Op.’ ‘Stop!  I don’t want to know any more!’ I cried.

A few hours later, I was three Caipiroskas down trying to keep up with my new friends – but this was almost an impossibility. I was reminded of my GP cousin who had regaled me with tales of  legendary party exploits as a medical student, and now here I was surrounded by what would have been her peer group – all ‘grown up’ and dancing to Moves Like Jagger.  And boy did they have them.

The next day with one of the worst hangovers I’d had in ages I sat down for lunch next to a foursome.  ‘Where’s your party posse today?’ one of them asked, swiftly followed by: ‘And, by the way, why do you only hang out with the consultants?’ I told them I had no idea who anyone was let alone of the hierarchy – I was just here on holiday. ‘ Well, we’re all junior doctors’ one of the men replied, ‘they usually throw us a few coins at the beginning of the week – I’ll explain it all later this evening over drinks’. I groaned and said I couldn’t possibly do it all over again.

Stopping by June’s table on my way out of the restaurant, I mentioned my hangover and then said ‘But what I really want to know is – have any of you got anything to mend a broken heart?’

She looked me directly in the eyes, touched my shoulder and we talked for a while. She told me that unfortunately there was no ‘cure’, it would just take time.  ‘The Crazy Signs must be very therapeutic – you’ve got the right idea there’ her husband chipped in.  ‘And, as for the hangover’ June added, ‘ A glass of bubbly mixed with orange juice – you need the vitamin C – is the best remedy:  Trust me I’m a doctor’.  And I do.

One from my heart

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Back in 2003 at an art fair in Miami, I was lucky enough to be invited to the book launch of ‘GOAT. A Tribute to Muhammad Ali’: The ‘GOAT’ standing for Greatest Of All Time.

I was beside myself with excitement at the possibility I might see the great man himself.  As I sat in the Miami Beach Convention Centre (where Ali, then Cassius Clay, defeated Sonny Liston for his first Heavyweight Championship in 1964) listening to Will Smith compere from the boxing ring centre stage, we all waited with bated breath for my childhood hero to appear.

We knew he was very ill with Parkinson’s disease, but we hoped to catch a glimpse of him and that he might even be able to make it into the ring to say a couple of words.

In the early to mid 70’s, TV viewing in our house, deep in the countryside in Ireland, was limited. Saturday night was Morecambe and Wise, Fridays I think – Top of the Pops.  Then of course there was the Eurovision which Ireland in those days often won, almost to our annoyance, as it meant we had to go to the huge expense of hosting it the following year.

There may have been Dallas at that point too, I don’t really remember, but what’s indelibly etched on my brain is that the only time I was allowed stay up really really late, as a child aged 8 or 9, was to watch Muhammad Ali fight; in fact positively encouraged to.  Extraordinary to think of now in the 21st century for all sorts of reasons.

He captured our hearts in Ireland, not only for the boxing, but for his remarkable personality which shone through – unique and rare for any era.  He became my hero at that point. His eloquence, intellect, wit and charm were surpassed by none.  He was his own man who stood up for what he believed in and what’s more, made it known.

As we waited in the packed arena, Will Smith continued to list Ali’s incredible accolades but, after some time passed, it seemed that he might not appear.  Disappointed, we headed out of the convention centre. “There’s an after party at the Raleigh hotel” an acquaintance told us. Still hoping we might get to see the former Cassius Clay, we made our way through the noisy and busy hotel foyer to wait for a lift to take us up to the penthouse floor where the party was to be held.

As we stood there, waiting, suddenly a hush went through the room.  Silence.  Slowly someone started to clap followed by a respectful ripple of applause which grew louder and louder. The hairs stood up on the back of my neck, and a tingle went down my spine as Muhammad Ali slowly approached the lift in front of me, feebly, using a walking stick to help him and holding onto the arm of his wife.

As he stood no more than a foot away from me, I looked at him, and tears came to my eyes as they do now writing this. Rooted to the spot the range of emotions that hit me was overwhelming: Love, respect, awe, disbelief, shock and, of course, all those childhood memories.

As he entered the lift and turned to face towards us, I thanked God for that moment that I knew I’d remember for the rest of my life.

Happy 70th Birthday Ali, and thank you for being you.

Le Dome du Marais

They say it’s the city that never sleeps – or is that New York?  Either way “C’est ferme” was the only response we were getting at midnight in Paris.  Admittedly we hadn’t finished dinner until late and now we were sauntering around looking for the next instalment of our night out.

‘Here we go Nicole’ I said.  We looked at the elegant facade of a fancy restaurant and through the windows – it was buzzing inside, shapes of people moving and grooving in a quintessential French way.

I sashayed through the doors, as one does in Paris, followed by my friend, past two bouncers and a lady sitting behind what looked like a cash register.  We all smiled at each other and Nicole and I carried on through to an opulent room with a large domed ceiling and a balcony upon which a dj in a vest cut down to his naval perched, headphones on, attitude intact.

‘Where’s the bar, Nicole? Isn’t this fab?!  We were surrounded by the beau monde of Paris.  Lots of young boys with tousled locks, pouting, dressed in black.  Girls with long hair, updos and that put together look. I felt immediately out of place in my Topshop attire; totally embracing pastels and a summer silhouette – not so much that it hampered my zest for adventure though.

‘I can’t see the bar P’, Nicole replied, but they do seem to be serving champagne over there – look!’  ‘Let’s get some!’  We cruised over past the too cool for school boys that paved the way for us and I addressed the waitress: ‘Deux champagne s’il vous plait’ I said with a big grin.

‘P, I think this is a private party’ Nicole said.  ‘No!’ I replied.  ‘Yes! Just look at the birthday cake’.  Sure enough there it was.  ‘We have to have some – French cake is the best’.  We debated whether or not we could stay but the view was too pretty, the champagne too delectable and we were in Paris.

After a shimmy on the dance floor to Daft Punk, we went out to the lounge area.  A lady wearing a Chanel jacket approached and spoke for at least three minutes in French to me.  ‘Oui, oui!’ I responded laughing.  ‘Nicole, this is outrageous, we can’t stay’ I said turning to find her but it was too late; she was taking pictures of the door to the loo and a small dog that had wandered in with his owner trailing at the end of a leash.

We went to the ladies to find it was not only unisex but the most happening place at the party.  People smoking and laughing, washing their hands, applying lipstick and generally carousing.  A young boy with exquisite locks in a red checked shirt brushed past me.  ‘May I have a cigarette please’ I asked.  ‘Bien sur’ he replied running his fingers through his hair and rushing to find his Marlborough Reds to offer me one.  I couldn’t help it; when in France.

We sampled some birthday cake, a delicious confection of chocolate, crunchy noisette and cream, mingled, and then shimmied some more to Kool and the Gang ‘Take My Heart’.  We went to the lounge again and danced out there.  ‘Love Hangover’ came on but just as the climax of the song was about to kick in, the dj stopped it and played it from the beginning again.  We laughed.

Suddenly there he was beside us. ‘ I love the tunes you’re playing’ I said in English.  ‘I dj in ‘alf an hour on the Champs Elysee to maybe 1,000 people – just say my name on the door and you ‘ave a place’, he replied. ‘Ooooh’ I said, ‘What is your name?’  ‘Pasolini’ he replied as he scribbled it down for me and then vanished into the night.

‘Let’s go Nicole!’ I said.  She wisely pointed out that if we did, we’d be up until dawn and sleep though the gift that would be another sunny Spring day for being out and about soaking up the atmosphere.  I wasn’t entirely convinced, but we departed, high on our night out and looking forward to tomorrow.

For further flavour, plug your earphones in and have a listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJPYQLp_jsk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrBYKslPrbg