From one Garros to another

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“How did you get a name like that?” I asked the main man at the tennis hut, reaching to pour myself a cool drink of water on a morning when the temperature was already 30 degrees.

“Well, ‘Garros’ wasn’t my decision – something to do with my parents” he smiled – a gorgeously tanned face surrounding the kind of dazzling white teeth my dentist would be impressed by.

“Let’s have a photo” I said, commandeering this fine garçon and a fellow pupil prior to our morning lesson.

“Ah, yes, it always start with a photograph” he said, eyes twinkling.

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Service please

P1020589“Look, Karen, if you’d like a can of ‘Raid’, Housekeeping dropped one off for me this morning” I mentioned to one of my new holiday companions from Buffalo, New York.
“Oh sure, I really hope we’re not gonna need that though.” she replied.

I told her I hadn’t meditated that morning because I was afraid to close my eyes in the room. “I think that’s what went wrong today” I said.
“You think?!” She replied.  “You sure it wasn’t that large insect you found in your bathroom last night?”

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Suspended reality

imagesI have to admit I’m growing to like the Apple watch.  I admired one on the wrist of the gentleman riding the train to the deepest Midlands next to me.

“Where did you get it?” I asked, “In the States?”

“Ah. It’s actually a Pebble watch.” he replied exchanging a knowing look with his friend over the table, chuckling as he added “It’s got eight days of battery.”

I sensed a challenger.  “You’re saying it’s superior?”
“No, not at all, I’ve had it for a few years now.  I love not having to get my phone out to see what’s just buzzed.  ‘Course it does make the people you’re with think you’ve got somewhere more important to be – but soon that’ll just be absorbed into the culture!”

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I’ve lost my hairband and don’t know where to find it

P1040761 “Anyone seen my hairband?” I asked the assembled poolside crew.
“What does it look like – is it green and pink?” Betty asked.
“No, navy and cream – kind of spotted.”
“It’s probably at the bottom of the pool” said Geraint, “That’s where my silver headband is – here you can borrow one of mine if you need it, I’ve got four.”

I took the gold shiny hairpiece faster than you could say ‘Harry Styles’ and applied it.  “May I see the other ones?’ I said.
“Well, they’re up in my room at the moment, I don’t take them to the pool” Geraint replied, smiling.

A scorchio 30 degree morning, seering blue skies above, a gentle breeze and three days into a Club Med holiday, the mood was lite and frivolous to say nothing of giggly.

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Ain’t no party like a Party party

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“I’m not sure why we’re looking at a film of sharks and bottom feeders, are you?” I said to my new friend Nelson as we sunk further into a comfy padded leather sofa at the National Liberal Club.  “I mean what’s this got to do with the General Election?”

Nelson nodded sagely.  “Well, don’t you see, that’s exactly the point?  Someone was told he had to work this evening and obviously went on YouTube, cobbled together three hours of this stuff for us to watch.  It’s some sort of divine retribution.  Let’s face it you don’t normally see just sharks and bottom feeders on a nature programme with no commentary whatsoever.”

I had to admit he was right, and it got me thinking. What was it all about?

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